Update: [6/2]
The following is a sad rambling: dont read if you dont like cats
i feel horrible, just horrible. i am a complete mess. my head feels like im going to explode, and my
eyes are burning.
i had to give away 3 of my kittens yesterday [i am writing this at 1:30 in the morning]
i am so upset right now. i dont know what to do. i must of looked terrible to other people too
because a guy who works in the pet store asked if i had cat allergies because i was so red from
crying. i knew; at least i think i knew. that i was going to have to give them up. i already have two cats.
then mama cat who we sort of adopted into the family which makes three. had her kittens, so in
total that would be 8 cats. i just cant stop thinking about it. they are probably scared out of their minds. being separated from their mom. they might even think that they did something wrong! its not their fault at all. we just cant afford to keep that many cats, as it is, we still have five.
my parents want to give away mama kitty. but i am worried. she doesnt seem like herself lately.
she barley eats, when she always eats like a pig. i tried to show her, her kittens. I wish she understood that it would be the last time she will ever see 3 of them. but she wasnt feeling good & turned away.
the saddest part for me though was at the pet store. my parents were walking out & i was left staring at the cage just balling. i was only allowed to keep two kittens but there was a third one that i was starting to have deep feelings for. he looked at me, he looked so scared. the image is burned into my mind. i actually ran out of the store.
i cant handle this. writing this out.
at the very least, i wish that i could be informed when they get adopted. i can only pray that they
will get good homes. & one can only hope that they get to stay together.
i just feel awful. i cant even sleep. i feel restless and nervous. im debating about if i should go & see
them. i dont know if i can stand it. will it be harder to let go if i see them. how can i just walk away.
there isnt anything i can do! i know that i should be happy, at least I got to keep two. but i feel
like its still not fair. we picked our two favorites. the other three cant help it if they didnt win our
affections right away.
i dont even know what im saying anymore..........
how can i go to sleep when they are in a pet store! i think that it will traumatize them.
i am upset at my parents too. after we left they started talking about dinner & other non-important issues.
how can you just let them go! didnt you feel sad at all. my dad especially. he has no feelings of
compassion what so ever. he would of dump them anywhere to get rid of them.
sometimes i really wonder; how are we related
i have had quite a few cats in my life so far. some i had to give up as kittens, some stayed for a little
while then were secretly taken away when i was at school [no seriously] others simply gone missing or died.
it gets me thinking about my past cats. the two adults i have now, i had their mama too. but she was killed by a dog. i remember the day it happened well.
mama kitty, even when she turns back into her usual self i will still worry.
whats going to happen if she gets pregnant before we fix her or worse; give her to the shelter.
--i have a rule in my house; never adopt a shelter pet--
i think that being in a shelter is worse than a pet store. i dont care what anyone says. it is traumatizing.
if she gets pregnant again, i am not feeling up to it. i feel so awful now. i dont want to have to do
the same thing again, especially since this time there would be absolutely no chance of keeping
any of the kittens.
i would become attached, and the endless cycle would continue.
it is now 2:40 in the morning. i am still balling. i. my thoughts are just all jumbled together.
i have volunteered at my local animal sanctuary/shelters so i have seen it all backstage before. some cats are lucky enough to be in a room, while others are in cages.
there are so many of them that i doubt they all get the attention they deserve.
the chances of an adult cat getting adopted verses adopting a kitten are slim.
everyone only wants a kitten. whats wrong with the adult cats!
thats why im worried about mama kitty. what are the chances that she will get adopted. being full
grown if my kittens dont get adopted from the pet store what will happen?
most likely the pet store will give them to a shelter. double wammy.
when i left those three. there were two kittens from a different liter. i cant help but think what
they went through. did anyone cry for them? did anyone protest about giving them away?
many times i have been in that pet store, especially when i was younger. but i never, ever thought
about how they got their. well i sure as hell know now.
